Juan's Flying Burrito, 2018 Magazine St., 504-569-000; 4724 South Carrollton Avenue
(Mexican, LD)
Juan's is so punk rock. Angry Caucasian caveman music blares from the hi-fi, and two to one, your pierced waiter might just have a titanium rod jammed through his anal wall and curling out the head of his cock. Of course, I brought my out-of-town friends here one day, and wouldn't you know, someone had just sucked down a tank of ironic gas and proceeded to torture us with the Footloose soundtrack. So if you want a nice peaceful dinner, fuck off. But if you want a decent, wholesome (and, unfortunately, about as Mexican as Nanook of the North) burrito, you'll need to party down at Juan's. I always go for the veggie punk on whole wheat with smoky pinto beans, taters, and guacamole subbed absolutely free for cheese. Of course, the bean tacos will show you a helluva good time, too. Then what you do is get fucked up on a pitcher of margaritas and pump some money into our economy by blowing your whole paycheck on overpriced tschotchkes in the delightful antique shops nearby.
Showing posts with label Lower Garden District. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lower Garden District. Show all posts
Monday, February 2, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Surrey's Cafe & Juice Bar
Surrey's Cafe & Juice Bar, 1418 Magazine St., 504-524-3828
(New Orleans, American, BL)
Ding ding ding. The word "vegan" actually appears on the menu, so love is in the air already. You can start with Fair Trade, I repeat, Fair Trade, coffee and regular soy milk (If I'm not mistaken, I saw owner Greg Surrey carrying some bags full of food items from the nearby Wal-Mart, including Silk. Bad move, Greg.) Or you can go for a freshly squeezed organic juice. Or Abita root beer on tap. If you go for the tofu platter or sub it for eggs, though, proceed with caution. I've gotten it in pretty decent crispy-fried cubes, and I've had sopping, over-marinated strips. Definitely order the chunky home fries, though. If Bush ate these (and maybe got rimmed by an intern just like a sexy president should) every day, we probably wouldn't be getting ready to bomb the fuck out of Iran right now. Another boner-producing menu item is the vegan avocado mash po-boy. And for you fake vegan wanna-bes, Surrey's loves you, too, with organic yard eggs.
(New Orleans, American, BL)
Ding ding ding. The word "vegan" actually appears on the menu, so love is in the air already. You can start with Fair Trade, I repeat, Fair Trade, coffee and regular soy milk (If I'm not mistaken, I saw owner Greg Surrey carrying some bags full of food items from the nearby Wal-Mart, including Silk. Bad move, Greg.) Or you can go for a freshly squeezed organic juice. Or Abita root beer on tap. If you go for the tofu platter or sub it for eggs, though, proceed with caution. I've gotten it in pretty decent crispy-fried cubes, and I've had sopping, over-marinated strips. Definitely order the chunky home fries, though. If Bush ate these (and maybe got rimmed by an intern just like a sexy president should) every day, we probably wouldn't be getting ready to bomb the fuck out of Iran right now. Another boner-producing menu item is the vegan avocado mash po-boy. And for you fake vegan wanna-bes, Surrey's loves you, too, with organic yard eggs.
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